So many people I work with have a fear of speaking their deepest heart/soul wisdom. You know, those insights and dreams you’ve hidden from almost everyone, even though the messages are really important.

Releasing the Grief

     One way to release the grief of this is in ceremony. With my journey group recently, I released my own fear and grief by blowing them into a stone, and giving the energy of the grief back to Earth to compost. We listened to and witnessed each other. It felt powerful. You can see our grief cairn—our pile of stones lovingly released and blessed with cornmeal, tobacco, and sacred waters of the world—below. 

     When you let something go, you have to replace it with something else, or the hole will fill back in. So I’ve been exploring ways to reframe my perceptions and speak my visions. Some good ones follow.

Reframing Perceptions

     One practice (thanks, Rob Brezhny!) is to ask “Is my impetus from my heart? Is how I want to act or what I want to say compassionate? Is it pure? Is it invigorating? Or is it self-sabotaging? Is it mediocre, inferior, or wasteful? 

     Am I in harmony with all the good portions of myself?

     Does this perception make me feel part of the whole, or separate/alone/isolated?

     Reframing this when I’m irritated with someone and start to be a tyrant or a perpetrator has been especially useful! It makes me stop, reflect, and go back into my heart.

Creating a Vulnerability Shield

When you’ve let an old habit go and are trying to create a new one, you'll probably feel vulnerable. I found this way of creating a vulnerability shield in The Medicine Woman Inner Guidebook by Carol Bridges: 

• Designate the vulnerable area, what the shield is for.
• Identify the feelings that commonly occur. So, for example, mine included feeling misunderstood, ignored, and lonely.
• List five attitudes that counteract the feelings. You name five things you already do, and then five things you would enjoy doing to counteract those feelings. 
• Finally, you practice. This helps you remember. Remembering strengthens your resolve. And as the shield works to protect you, you build your courage in sidestepping the old habit and creating a new one.